Wake Up Older
by CrazyJaney
Summary: a songficcie in kaoru's pov, her feelings on her breakup w kenshin..... plz don't hate me, just read it.... R&R! Plz....!


A/N: ok, this is a sad one shot in Kaoru's POV, i was in a depressive state and well this was the end result, plz don't hate me for it, it really is sad. although i do like it so do me a huge favor and REVIEW!!!!!!!!! luv ya lots

I rolled over on my couch, thinking of how awful things had been lately. My boyfriend and I had just had a huge fight, and I mean it was big. Kenshin hardly ever got pissed off, but boy was he pissed. I examined my features, seeing how I'd slept in my poor makeup job, and didn't even get up to brush my teeth the previous night.

_Slept in my makeup  
Didn't get my teeth brushed  
Crashed on the couch  
And now my mouth tastes like  
Yesterday's news._

I took out the bottle of whiskey in my cupboard and drank it straight. Before I knew I was talking to the damn bottle about how screwed up my life was. I didn't mean to get him mad and say those things, they just kinda came out. I didn't want us to be over. We made such great lovers, but somehow the way he'd said it made it final......

_Well hello Jim Bean  
Oh, the places you've seen  
If only you could talk  
You'd tell me why he walked out on me and you_

I felt like I'd broken, and the sound the door made. It was scary. It felt so, so..... so over. I cried for a long time, and I got drunk. Thus the reason my face looks like shit and my mouth tastes like shit. He just left. He must have finally gotten sick of me. I knew he would, no matter how much he insisted that he wouldn't.

_Oh, the things  
Lover's do when it's over  
Oh, the things  
Lover's do when it's done  
Find a cool bottle  
Or a warm shoulder  
Wake up older and try to move on_

I know that I'll get over this, just like all of my other boyfriends, but Kenshin was different. He saw beyond my body. He saw into the depths of my soul with those gorgeous lavender eyes. He would stare into my navy pools and tell me how much he loved me and never leave me. Now I just have to say, what a bunch of bullshit. As time goes on, I get older, and get more experience with broken hearts. I miss him, as much as I hate to admit it. I really do. I couldn't find comfort anywhere that I searched........

Drove around last night  
Thinkin' 'bout our last fight  
Cruised by your house,  
All the lights were out and you were gone  
So I found me a stranger  
Well there's comfort in danger  
But I thought about you  
The whole time we were gettin' it on

Yeah, I did go out and sleep with some stranger last night. It was something I'd started doing whenever I got my heart broken. Actually, he's a friend of mine who doesn't mind screwing me if I need it. So he's not what you'd call a stranger, but he acts like it. I've paid Sano a visit for that reason more than I go see him. Now that me and Kenshin were "officially" done, there shouldn't have been any harm in it. But I didn't expect him to linger in my mind the entire time Sano was doing me. I kept imagining his touch, and his voice, and that it was his hair I was tangling my fingers in. That's when I think I realized I'm not gonna get over him.

_Oh, the things  
Lover's do when it's over  
Oh, the things  
Lover's do when it's done  
Find a cool bottle  
Or a warm shoulder  
Wake up older and try to move on_

Sitting there with no comfort but my liquor and a fucking that I'd had the night before, I began to cry. Again. They say you don't know what you have until you lose it and I realize how right they are. Kenshin was the best thing that ever happened to me and I gave him up. It was my fault, I said it, and I drove him out. I drove him away from me. He'd finally gotten sick of the tanuki and all her temper tantrums.

_Find a cool bottle  
Or a warm shoulder  
Wake up older, wake up older  
Slept in my makeup  
Didn't get my teeth brushed  
Crashed on the couch  
And now my mouth tastes  
Like yesterday's news_

I will never find another lover that knew me as well as he did, nor will I find one so caring. I threw the damn bottle down and cried in my hands. It was over. We were over. Past tense. I loved him so much, and now I lost him. Forever.

Owari


End file.
